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I miss you more than memories allow me to forget
How I wish you would talk to me and fill my heart with happy times! You were my everything, and I never thought you would go away… I remember the first day I met you; I walked up behind you and made some comment that sounded official` as we both worked in retail. You looked at me and said: You are no manager, and we took off into a lover’s paradise. We spent time making rendezvous. How I cried and felt like a broken lamp when you disappeared from my view. The days I looked for you were long and desperate. I could not comprehend a life without you, and I threw my self into drink when you refused to have anything to do with me. I find it strange you gave your heart to a man who was surly using you. Yet, is that not how most women get taken advantage of? It seems love is more intense when we argue and make up in passionate sexual engagements. We never had the opportunity to make up after arguments. The distance does not allow for sudden attacks of angry sex. It is only this kind of relation that we “have to focus” more on the individual, and not abandon our misunderstandings in sexual release. I wanted to make things right, but I could not believe in a life without you as my mate. So doing all I could to realize the extent of my personal deception, I said: This is not the way lovers should live!! Was it important too want you as my own? I think so. You did not. You wanted nothing but your way, and I wanted nothing but my way. Two strong individuals we bantered and fought, but we never got to make up in close sexual intimacy. It really is the great sex that turns into a great friendship. I could not know how wonderful you were until I found myself without your touch. I was the foolish one, but I was honest. I could not stand to know you might be with another man while we were engaged in this trusting relationship. I appreciate you ability to do both work and lover, but in sex’ is it ever really that easy? How can you keep intimacy when you keep that as an option in your mental thoughts? It severed the connection of commitment and loyalty… It is amazing that you never did anything but give me all your trust. I was filled with wild thoughts and madness! I said things I should have just suppressed. Had I only kept to myself, we would be enjoying rendezvous and special play time throughout the years. I broke the connection because I could not stand living without you. It is amazing that even now, I am standing alone anyway? Why did I think you could stand your ground without me? You made yourself clear; although, I still think you did it unfairly. Maybe if I was able to get sexual needs whenever I wanted, I would not have wanted a committed relationship either? Probably so… All these thoughts are my own, and the truth to them is not determined by what I say. Thomas A Sutor P O Box 2343 Lompoc CA 93438 Rockhawk.com |
All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...
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